Still doing 'that'

Why did the candle feel happy?

It got really 'lit'.

What am I still doing? you ask.

I am still comparing my old self (young self?) to my current self. That really has to stop.

Everyone, at some point in their life, is told not to compare their own self to someone else, or to others. Especially Hollywood people. Those folks just are not any image to hold up for anyone.

My issue is my size. For the first almost 50 years of my life I was either slender or skinny. Sometimes very underweight.

Now I have a BMI that is too high. It puts me in the overweight class. After so many years of having a very small body, having this body feels enormous to me. It's not. It just is a matter of what I was used to. Because of this I keep comparing myself. This makes it difficult for me to accept the changes in my body, which are quite normal and many regards, healthier.

I was very skinny for many years not because I had a great diet or because I exercised like an athlete. It was because I simply did not have enough food to eat.

I barely ate at all.

No, that's not the right way to keep weight off. I just didn't have much of a choice. Plus, when I did have money for food I chose foods that were cheap and easy to prepare, quick to prepare. Top ramen, hot dogs (which I rarely bothered to cook), cheetos, pepsi, boxed macaroni and cheese with that cheese powder stuff. <sigh> I did not know any better.

Admittedly, the whole BMI things is pretty off kilter and almost bogus. If you were 19 years old, 5'6" tall and weighed only 110 pounds that BMI chart would count you as "healthy". That's just plain stupid. If you were a body builder and therefore weighed more than some people your height, you would be classed as 'obese'. Again, stupid.

So, no I don't put any stock into that BMI business and that's not what has me bugged. My doctors do not see a problem with my weight. Thank goodness.

I am the only one who seems to feel that way and I know why. It is that comparison. I need to adjust to how I am now. I need to accept how I am now and more, I need to embrace it; to embrace ME. And be grateful I have food to eat and that I have the means to eat healthy foods, super foods even.

I know some of you who read this blog for the menus, the commentary, and just for fun, have some of the same issues as myself. So if you feel inclined to share your story, I'd be happy to put it up here. If you do not want to share it publicly I'll keep it in my email and to myself. Maybe one or some of you have some advice for me in how to make friends with the new me - a lasting, happy, committed friendship.

The comparing really has to stop.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

“Breathe, man! Breathe!”

LOL