COVID caused Loneliness ??

Many of us have left our communities of origin searching for careers, love, adventure, and more. These communities traditionally supplied us with safety, comfort, and support. When we felt lonely or isolated, we could come back to our center and be soothed, understood, or supported.

But this fracture is also being played out in the networks we built around us for the same visceral feeling of connection. We have had to become mobile and flexible to survive. Working from home or remotely, and schooling online. Even exercise has had to become a singular activity to reduce viral transmission. You know what I mean, thanks a lot COVID.

The supportive networks we have built up around ourselves are being dismantled before our very eyes, and it often feels like we can’t do anything to save them. Thanks a lot D.C.

Even though technology has given us advances to stay connected, it has also made us more disconnected. We spend hours plugged into our phones and computer. Hours spent sitting down in front of screens, transfixed. Exercising in front of screens. Relaxing in front of screens.

This loneliness isn’t about being physically distanced from someone; it’s also the emotional and psychological distance. We all uniquely experience this.

In the end, we feel left out, poorly understood, devoid of companionship, and lacking compassion towards ourselves and others.

If we are going to be honest, loneliness has been on the rise for years. We have all seen it slowly seeping its way into our lives or those around us. The pandemic has made the bubble burst. We can not deny the physical, mental, and emotional toll uncovered by this public health crisis. In oh so many ways.

Unfortunately, there is no pill, quick fix, or even green juice to fix loneliness.

We have to understand how it manifests and then what to do to overcome our loneliness. 

Loneliness takes many forms. But it is primal. It is our body telling us we need something, like hunger and thirst. It is visceral yet subjective. You know what it feels like, but for everyone, it is different.

For many people, loneliness comes and goes. It is circumstantial, painful, but transitory. For others, it can continue for long periods. It can be an unrelenting feeling of separation and the inability to connect to others on a deeper level. It can also manifest feelings of low self-worth and low self-esteem.

It can be triggered by changes in personal circumstances, loss of a relationship or person, lack of meaningful interactions or connections, and even anxiety and depression.

If you do an internet search on how to combat these feelings of loneliness, whether the feeling is temporary or seemingly chronic, you will get advice like: exercise more for the release of dopamine, or avoid smoking and drinking which can exacerbate those feelings.  Yadda-yadda. In my opinion that’s pretty lame talk.

You could start by thinking about what self-care means to you. And it is about self-care. Remember that self-care looks different for everyone. Some people who live alone find it comforting to have some background noise. This could be the television, the radio or a podcast you enjoy. 

It may help to start doing activities you enjoy by yourself. For example, going for a walk in your local area, doing some arts and crafts or cooking a meal from scratch. It could also involve moving your body, watching a film you love, decluttering your home or going to a free museum in your area. 

It’s okay to try different things to see what makes you feel good. Try and be patient with yourself.

Some people find it useful to be in environments where there are lots of people around. For example, coffee shops, libraries or shopping centers. Feeling the presence of other people may help with some feelings of loneliness.

It may help to establish a routine, where you go to the same places at the same time. You might start to recognize people in these places, which may lead to forming connections.

Try thinking about how your interests could help you connect with other people. For example, if you like reading, you could join an online forum for conversations about books. You could also spend some time in a local library before joining a book club. Focus on environments where you feel safe and try not to put too much pressure on yourself.

There is also the thought that perhaps taking in a roommate or moving in with someone as a roommate might be an option for some people. There is a website that can help facilitate making a move like that seems to be worth checking out.  It’s:  https://www.sidebyside.cz/en/o-nas/

Have a happy day – make yourself smile, it moves muscles in the face that sends signals to your brain that says “I am happy” and your brain responds with “happy hormones”.  Try it.

     Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

  Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

LOL